Healing Atlantis

2012-05-30 22.30.59In Human Design (a nifty combination of traditional astrology, the I-Ching, the Kabbalah and the chakras) , there are “channels” within the body graph that illuminate “what” symbolically may be happening….
Yesterday , while talking to my good friend , Kim( an amazing specialist in emergent human design – see- LoveYourDesign- by Kim Gould) I was bemoaning my seeming inability to “affirm” my way to wealth and love.  I have always LOVED the idea that our “thoughts” create our reality.  I am on board 100% that I am indeed the Master of my Fate -the Captain of my Ship….(.yadda yadda yadda) -until and unless I’m not.  So, while we chatted about  the asteroid Chiron ‘s (the wounded healer centaur ) recent move to the head center in gate 63 ,   I began to wax poetic about the pitfalls of “perfectionism” and the Atlantis trap of thinking we can “think” ourselves to “perfection”.
From a mythological standpoint, Atlantis (you know , that mystical lost continent of yore that sunk beneath waves eons ago) is symbolic of “over -rationalization”- or head over heart.  The famed civilization (whether actual or mythical is not relevant here) is most alluded to when discussing the pitfalls of technical advancements without a spiritual/ heart-centered balance.  There is an asteroid in the far reaches of our cosmos (literally) called -Atlantis.  The very cool thing right now is planet earth (our home) has it’s Atlantis placement in Gate 4.4.  Gate 4 in the ajna (third eye) makes a channel with the crown/head center -Gate 63.  Thus the Asteroid Chiron is just NOW completing a channel with the asteroid Atlantis.  I immediately thought of how Chiron’s job in that crown center is to help heal the distorted “shadows” of Atlantis’s over dependance and indeed misuse of “logic”.
Richard Rudd, describes this channel thusly : “This channel represents the scientific,  sceptical mind that has to question the logical validity of everything.  “
So, for me when I am stressing about “why” affirmations (of most kinds) are so exhausting ,I am reminded that perhaps my “design” is meant to learn through mystery and imperfection and sometimes  even brokenness.  My natal Chiron sits in Gate 63 (design) and Gate 37 (personality).  Maybe it’s ok that we are not “perfect”.  Atlantians strove for perfection -above all else and that was their ultimate downfall.  😦
My natal Atlantis placement is in Gate 46.1- conjunct my Design Child.  A while ago when I first began my HD journal I called my Design Child- Lady Bug Girl.  Interestingly I later discovered that the ladybug is an animal totem (Shadow frequency) of the Gate 46.  How absolutely fabulous is that ??!!!  Gate 46 is all about “the Science of Luck” as Rudd describes :
  “No matter what your circumstances, you can ACCEPT and recognize them as being part of GRACE.  When you move through life freely with an attitude of DELIGHT and openness -whatever happens IS correct- whether you can see ‘why’ is NOT important. “
Lady Bug Girl to the rescue indeed…..
photo-156LBG

pile of journals

pile of journals

I guess I probably should have taken this photo after a pedicure…:) But as always , a picture can say a thousand words (or even more ).  I hadn’t planned on my foot being there- hmmm-one foot in…(where’s the other foot? )
Feels to me as it I have been on a precipice of some huge shift for a while now.  The Fool as he playfully hedges  toward the cliff.  The Tower crumbling around all around me as my preconceived notions and plans made by my ego go flying out the window.  I like Joe , face the volcano of my fears.  Time to jump in with BOTH FEET.
Below is a picture of my very first Human Design Journal.  It took me  over 2 years to complete.  It started out as a simple wide-ruled composition book.  Now it is so thick and chock full of images and pull-outs and pop-outs I can barely keep it closed.  
Inspired by my Third graders’ reading journals I decided to create something very special from something very ordinary.  Kinda like all of us- Infinite Beings hiding in atoms and molecules and chemicals wrapped in flesh and blood and bone.
Each page of my HD journal is dedicated to an aspect of my own unique design.  For of those of you who haven’t heard of Human Design- it is this very cool combination of astrology, the I-Ching, the chakra system and the ancient Kabbalah .  Each of our charts are calculated (like astrology) by the exact time of birth.  Over the past few years I have had “readings” and sessions with all kinds of Human Design practitioners of all kinds.  I am so grateful for their wisdom and guidance.  Like any “new” system (Human Design was channeled through guy about 25 years ago) it is evolving as we are evolving.  
Because we are all so different and learn so uniquely  (any good teacher can tell you that ) different approaches to Human Design will appeal to different people.  Some of my favorite “work” has been with my good friend and wise counselor- Kim Gould.  Her take on emergent astrology (asteroid placement in our chart) is phenomenal and speaks to my Jungian approach to …everything !
HD journal

journal tulips

journal tulips

I realize I have not finished my first post on movies and clones…but that will have to wait.  I recently bought a domain name- The Journal Queen.   I have so many visual journals . I  even have journals about my journals.  
I began my first visual journal  in 1995 when I was in graduate school .  I was engaged to be married -but I was an emotional mess , and no amount of “talking about” it seemed to help me figure out what to do.  I remember one of my classmates saying to me- why don’t you start a journal ?   She and I had bonded in our Expressive Arts class (my graduate studies were in Holistic Counseling)- and she knew that the artist in me was “who” would help guide me to the answers I was seeking.  Her question was an invitation that changed my life. Thank you. Cathy- wherever you are.
I think I needed “permission” to go out, buy a blank journal,  and start creating.  I find that is true for most of the women I work with- sometimes  offering them an “invitation”- or for some an assignment makes the process more available.  
 truth
 This is a picture of my very first journal entry.  I loved collecting beautiful greeting cards and this one shook me to my core.  It says : 
                 ” Truth Visiting
Be prepared to risk everything you hold precious for the truth inside you 
Truth is Empowering And to speak the truth Is to overcome the fear of death and on the other side of hell lies paradise.”
The card was from a series called- Revisiting our Souls- by Jane (which I always thought was so perfect as my last name is “Jayne”).
 
Looking back I realize how that moment was a turning point in my life.  I wasn’t ready to get married again.   I was terrified to break up with him for many reasons but mostly because I was letting everyone down.  Creating that first journal truly liberated my inner truth, and 19 years later I am still journaling 🙂
 
 

clones , enslavement & liberation- oh my !

2012-04-12 07.23.17Some “truths” beneath the “fiction” of recent sci-fi themes ?? (Buckle up- wild ride ahead… 🙂 )
 
I can’t remember a time when I didn’t love the Science Fiction genre.  (And I’ve capitalized Science Fiction deliberately , as I still feel it’s never gotten its proper due  ).   I grew up watching the original Star Trek TV show, and even as a little kid I knew there were deep(albeit ,cryptic for my little brain) messages coming through Roddenberry’s plot lines.  Of course, I was just a little kid- so what did I know….
I remember (from the way back of the family station wagon at the local drive-in) being completely enthralled (and somewhat terrified) as astronaut Taylor shook his mighty fist at the half buried Lady Liberty.  I was seven years old,  and though I couldn’t grasp what was going on in my conscious/personality mind- my unconscious ( or in Human Design what we call the “design”) was already working overtime.  A few years later when Beneath the Planet of the Apes came out  I was mesmerized by one scene in particular:  the worshipping of “ooo-sa”.  And , then in that pivotal movie -moment I discovered that “ooo-sa” was the nuclear warhead (with USA logo stamped upon it).   What ?? !!!  That scene has stuck with me like that USA stamp.  Truly- I think something broke open in my mind , and I began to question EVERYTHING.  But in particular-  the propaganda of religion and politics.  
Don’t get me wrong- I loved going to church.  In fact, I feel truly blessed to have had such an ecumenical “education” in regards to religion.  The Fates made sure my fragile spirit would be nurtured in an environment of true goodwill and integrity (as Jesus himself taught).  My mom grew up a Baptist and my dad a Catholic , and by the time they had me (I’m the youngest of 3) they took the best of both religions and became Episcopalians (I’m actually the only one in my family baptized as such ! ).   Father Mills was so incredibly loving and patient and wise.  And best of all he was very clear about the bible being a collection of stories and metaphors (or at least that’s what I remember ).  I think he was my first encounter with a Jungian “healer”- though of course I had no idea of that then.
But- that growing suspicion of somehow being “duped” began to gnaw at my brain after seeing that “ooo-sa” spectacle.   What was so different about them (those nuclear war survivors beneath the planet) and us -standing in church and reciting the  4th century Nicene Creed in unison ????  That’s when I began to wonder- what exactly is “truth” anyway ?? 
 
So -what does all this have to do with clones ???  
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2012-01-16 10.36.04
No, she’s not a clone- she’s a portal of sorts.  I painted her about 13 years or so ago.  That triangle on her chamois dress is filled with 3 different colored beads : white to represent the angelic kingdom, red to represent the indigenous people of Earth and blue to represent beings from other star systems .   She hangs beside my bed and I’ve come to know her as my inner Pallas Athene (with a Hedwig Harry Potter owl 🙂 ).  For some reason unbeknownst to me (right now )she wants to be here – I’ve learned not to argue .
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I think my early sci-fi exposure, through literature, TV and movies, opened my mind to “outer and inner -worldly’ possibilities  that to many still seem like fantasy.   Which brings me to three  recent sci-fi movies that have me pondering their similar themes and symbolism.
Cloud Atlas, Oblivion and The Island all share similar themes of enslavement, awakening and liberation.  And interestingly the clones are the ones who awaken to become the “saviors” of the  “pure bloods, scavs and sponsers” (aka natural born humans).